Title: Nightlight A ParodyAuthor: The Harvard Lampoon
Target Audience: young adult
Pages: 154
Chapters: 11
Genre: comedy / parody
Person: first
Tense: past
Opinion: 7/10
Blurb (quoted): “About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him – which I assumed was wildly out of his control – that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished that he had kissed me.
And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon, looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events – Edwart leaves his chips untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball! – Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalkerlike behaviour, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.”
Summary: Belle Goose is a highly-popular though extremely quirky teenager obsessed with vampires. Edwart Mullen is a super-nerd and the butt of every joke at school that’s never kissed a girl. A perfect match! After moving to Switchblade, Oregon, Belle witnesses a range of odd activity performed by Edwart, and soon comes to the conclusion that Edwart Mullen is a vampire. Edwart Mullen is anxious to please Belle, her being his first girlfriend and all, and goes along with all her delusions.
Then they meet true vampires, Joshua and Vicky, which is when the truth comes out and Belle ends up attending a vampire prom with Josh.
But in an explosion of revelations, Belle realises that even though he isn’t a vampire, she’s in love with Edwart.
Judgement: this was a fun, though short, read and I enjoyed every moment of it. Admittedly, it wasn’t quite as funny as I’d expected and there were limited occasions that actually made me laugh out loud, but it was definitely a highly amusing book – great for boosting your mood! It’ll at least keep you in giggles.
There isn’t really much else to say about this book… It was easy to read, except a little confusing in a few places, but still understandable. It’s right up my alley, considering (I regret to say I may lose a few readers here) I am not a fan of Twilight, and this book, though ridiculous, fleshes out and over exaggerates Twilight’s flaws.
Definitely an entertaining – however short – read.
Quotes from the book:
“I walked towards the seat, circling my hips and raising my eyebrows rhythmically like an attractive person.”
“First, I told Tom and Lucy that Edwart saved me from a snowball. They weren’t impressed. So I started saying Edwart saved me from a rock with snow around it, and, later, I started saying he saved me from an avalanche. One day, I said that Edwart ran with superhuman speed, stopping a car that was about to hit me with his superhuman strength.”
